When I decided to write this blog, I knew right away what I wanted to call it. I’ve had this Badass Snowflake around the house for a while. A really long time, actually. It took physical form, for me this spring, when my dear friend Elon made me a simple paper cut-out snowflake. I was feeling blue and neglected. She presented me with the handmade decoration just like those our boys used to make when they were little. Only this one had a little pink post-it note folded in half and stuck to the front. On the outside of the post-it, written boldly, it said ‘BADASS!’. On the inside of the post-it was written this phrase, ‘All I need is within me now. Always.’ Something wonderful happened when the delicate, unique, beautiful snowflake met up with the self-assured, honest and fierce word BADASS! The two together spoke volumes to me and have become a symbol of inspiration. Something to focus on in times when I feel far off the path or in other words Fucked Up.
It may not surprise you to know that I have spent a good deal of time searching for wholeness and just not quite getting it. God, the number of self-help books piled by my bed. I had to hide them from my husband. There were just too many, surely something is wrong with me, I would think. No one can know. We have all spent time in this place, each of us on our own timeline. Some of us taking long stretches to wallow in self-doubt and despair. I have been particularly fond of self-pity and have spent years limited by fear, yearning to be free. I guess the big newsflash is that it’s ongoing, I am always moving towards something new. There is always going to be something to be free of, something to challenge me, something to fear. The questions is–Am I going to do it with reservation or abandon? What comforts me about this human condition of seeking is that we all do it in one way or another. I am comforted in knowing that I have not searched, nor will I continue to search alone. It is our condition to seek and our lesson that what we look for is within us, already. It’s written on the Snowflake, for crying out loud! I’m very much in the middle of that lesson and here to share my homework with you. If nothing else, we can laugh, cry and scream together.
Today I choose to WAKE UP & BE AWESOME. How about you?