Why New Year’s Resolutions Are A Waste Of Time

I will not be making ANY resolutions, promises, grand statements of behavior changes or goals for 2014- with the exception of that opening sentence. I assure you, that will be the only one- along with this second ,but, those and only those: The promising not to make promises and following assurance that I mean it, will be the only two grand statements of behavior change I will make for the entire 2014. And here is why. Because, New Year’s Resolutions are a waste of time.

I have made resolutions, some I may have kept, some managed to stick around for part of the year, the bulk of them I failed at miserably. It would be two days into the year and I was already shoveling cake into my face. So, not only did I start the year out with the intention to change, meaning I was flawed but, I then failed on top of that. I am not right. I must change and I suck because I couldn’t. What a way to start the year. And I know I am being a bit negative. Sure, sometimes the resolution would stick- though, I’m not sure I can remember a habit that I kicked or started at the new year? I could make yet another list of things for Lisa to improve and live in the hope of progress and change. But, I just can’t do it. The process requires that I live in the past by revisiting all the previous years of how I didn’t quite achieve that goal and projecting into the future all the wonderful things that could be- at the expense of the here and now. Where I am.

I choose to live in the present and New Year’s resolutions are a waste of my time. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m just going to be a perfect, flawed human being from now on. Just as I am. And like the rest of you, I will strive for freedom, joy and love in this moment, the best way I know how. So, that is my goal for 2014 and, shit that is a resolution. Ahhh, god, I can’t help myself. I am destined to strive and plan and make promises and break them and fall short of my goals and exceed my goals and do things that aren’t even part of the plan. It’s in my DNA. Humans are programmed to reach higher. Sometimes, it’s messy, indirect and slow but, always onward in hopes of finding a better way. I already feel like I am excelling at this flawed human thing. 2014 is going to be AWESOME!!!

New Year, New Leaf

IMG_1956Well, New Year and ┬átime for promises and resolutions right? The list of things I’m definitely not doing this year and the things I must do. It all seems so punishing and doomed for failure. Thoughts lead actions this is true enough and making clear statements about intention is a strong tool. But, what if we are perfect as we are and there is nothing to improve, only acceptance of our wonderful, unique flawed selves and all the coolness around us? I have no grand gestures for this year, only the wish to greet and accept the experiences and great gifts that will be with open arms. I may give a nod to forgiveness of self and work on being kinder about my mistakes. I am certainly going to take more naps, because they are just good. But, of course I will have lapses in my nap goal and have to forgive myself for being hard on myself and so I think my resolution for 2013 will be cultivating my imperfection. At this, I can not fail. Here is a nice little editorial piece re-printed in the Chicago Tribune, from Boston Globe writer, Ellen Goodman on cultivating imperfection in the garden. I love the parallels.