yoga

I Love You Charles Ingalls

lisabrookfield 5 Comments

My last couple of posts have been about Christmas and feeling freaked out over it all. And also about how I am coping with the freak out. I think of myself as a fairly calm person, mostly happy- I would go so far as to say upbeat. I know some of my close peeps are laughing right now. I consider myself upbeat, though I don’t pull the punches about what isn’t going so well for me. I tell it like it is. So, if I’m having a rough time, I don’t pretend otherwise, at least, not for long anyway. The conversation might go like this,

Friend: “Lisa, how are you?”

Me: “I’m fine.” Pause. “Well actually, I spent the afternoon on the couch soothing myself with Little House on the Prairie reruns and hot tea with commiseration from my dog. I’m having a rough day but, it is temporary.”

We might go on to talk about the stress and pressures we put on ourselves over the holidays. And we might talk about this being an emotionally loaded time of year for folks. It is no wonder with the decorating, gift buying, social engagements and FAMILY time that people feel a little overwrought, myself included. So, this time of year can make me feel nostalgic and a little sad. The year is coming to an end. The days are short and dark. The expectation and anticipation of the jolly, joyful season can often lead to disappointment. The ‘all the presents are open, now what’ feeling.  And then we will get to the so what’s new about that, part of the conversation. Tell me something I don’t already know.

Me: ” Yeah so, I put a lot of pressure on myself ( see Perfect Christmas post) and I feel more emotional. It’s what I do this time of year. What am I going to do about it?”

And here is where it shifts. Here is where the chat gets interesting.  The question is Do I allow myself to be swept away with What I Have Always Done or do I Try Something New? Let’s TRY SOMETHING NEW!

My SOMETHING NEW LIST:

  1. Nostalgic Cure for Sadness: Charles Ingalls.  I watched Little House on the Prairie for hours the other day. It was so comforting. I loved this show growing up. Pa (Charles Ingalls played by Michael Landon) was so handsome, loving and reasonable. The kids were good but, not too good. Yeah, things were hard but, they had each other. And a tin cup was a darn good present in the late 1800’s in Minnesota. Charles Ingalls will put some perspective on things and he can FIX anything.
  2. The Gift:  We spend a lot of time thinking about others in this giving season. And that is awesome! I love hunting around for something to give that will bring joy to another. Just remember to Be good to yourself, too. Give yourself some extra time if you can. Take a walk or a nap. I have signed up for a Yogra Nidra class at my local studio. All of my joking about yoga and napping– turns out, to be true. How perfect for me? And a relaxing, rejuvenating way to begin a new year.
  3. Feelings: Think about how you want to feel and then do things that make this happen for you. Um, this has been HUGE for me. It sounds simple. It takes some digging and a bit of work to be clear but, organizing your time around how you want to feel will make a massive difference. Trust me on this. Massive. I’m going for Joy-Creative-Affluence-Love-Energized! Check out this link for more on feeling your way through the new year!!
  4. Say No: I thought I needed to say Yes more. But, really I think I need to say No. Saying No to projects that don’t fulfill me. Saying No to anything that feels like a grind. Saying No unless I can fully commit and feel good doing it. It feels so positive to say No!! Try it. You won’t be sorry.
  5. This ones for you. Add something to TRY SOMETHING NEW LIST. I know you have some good ones!

Peace & Joy ~Lisa

Work in Progress

lisabrookfield 6 Comments

A little over a year ago, I had lost my job of 12 years, leaving me feeling powerless, directionless and anxious. I was stunned. After a reasonable spell of self-pity, self-doubt and self-abuse involving laying on the couch in my pj’s crying and watching Magnum PI re-runs for days on end, I decided to take the time that was given me to make some changes. I had been wishing to get off the treadmill, wishing to have more time for myself and my family and to put my energy toward work that felt truly meaningful. Here was my chance. I was determined not to waste the opportunity to shift the way I was living. And like all projects that I head, I went at it with gusto.

Make a list:

  1. Design a new career that draws on your passions and natural abilities. It will be wonderful. BE immediately, insanely successful at this thing.
  2. Get healthy: lose 60 pounds, master yoga, run 5K and for god’s sake quit eating stuff.
  3. Organize the house and all occupants therein.
  4. Be happy.
  5. Visualize all of this and make it happen.

Break list down into actionable goals with timeline and boxes for check marks so that you can monitor your progress and feel the success. Ignore the fact that you are feeling worse and keep at it, this is your time to flourish!! Post some positive affirmations all over the place to convince yourself that you are wonderful.

Ok, so I have anxiety, now. Panic attacks, a little social anxiety. How am I going to fix this?? Um, Meditation, exercise, give up caffeine, take yoga and relax, come on relax. Why isn’t this working!!?? I’m doing everything on my list. I’ve read articles, books and blogs. I should be healthy by now. I should be happy by now. Why isn’t everything perfect, like I said?? I have the Kate Spade ‘You are so beautiful’ wallpaper on my phone!

Yesterday, in the middle of one of those really important conversations with my best buddy, I worked it all out. I was feeling unsatisfied with my personal redesign because I had overworked it, over planned it, made it so specific that the chances for unexpected joy or success in a form different to my visualized dream were lost to me. In my focus on my list, I lost the magic and the heart of what I wanted. I was too focused on my goals.

And this morning, I am meditating, sitting still, concentrating on my breath and thinking about cranberry sauce and Christmas presents. ‘Thinking, thinking, thinking’ I say to myself in an attempt to return to quiet and then… ‘What shall I write for this week’s blog post?’ just as the bell dings to signal the end of the meditation, I giggle and think, ‘thank god that’s over, I’ve got stuff to check off my list’.